The Birds

By Holly

I’m all for animals fighting back. (See 1972’s Frogs for a creepy, lousy but excellent, example.) While Hitchcock’s film has about 20 great minutes in it, the rest is mostly talky and uninteresting, with never an explanation given for anything. There are some highlights: Rod Taylor. Tippi Hedren’s clothes, thanks to Edith Head. Bird attack scenes. Rod Taylor’s blue eyes. No music, except for bird song. Suzanne Pleshette’s weary, resigned bitterness. Rod Taylor.

A friend once said she couldn’t watch Jennifer Garner in movies because she “wanted to fill in her dimples with spackle.” In a similar vein, I wanted to smack that smug look off Hedren’s face. Maybe that’s what the birds wanted, too.

Two notes:

If I were a bird on the jungle bars having to listen to those kids sing that awful annoying song for 5 minutes, I'd attack, too. (I found the lyrics online and include them below.)

And, HEY Tippi! Turn around and open the f*cking door!

Lyrics to the song sung by the kids in school pre-attack:

The butter came out a grizzle-y-grey. Ristle-tee, rostle-tee, Now, now, now! The cheese took legs and ran away! Ristle-tee, rostle-tee, hey donny dostle-tee, knickety-knackety, retro-quo-quality, willoby-wallaby, Now, now, now!

She let the critter get away. Ristle-tee, rostle-tee, hey donny dostle-tee, knickety-knackety, retro-quo-quality, willoby-wallaby, Now, now, now!

I asked my wife to wash the floor. Ristle-tee, rostle-tee, Now, now, now! She gave me my hat and she showed me the door! Ristle-tee, rostle-tee, hey donny dostle-tee, knickety-knackety, retro-quo-quality, Now, now, now!

I married my wife in the month of June. Ristle-tee, rostle-tee, Now, now, now!
I brought her off by the light of the moon. Ristle-tee, rostle-tee, hey donny dostle-tee, knickety-knackety, retro-quo-quality, willoby-wallaby, Now, now, now!

She combed her hair but once a year. Ristle-tee, rostle-tee, hey donny dostle-tee, knickety-knackety, retro-quo-quality, willoby-wallaby, Now, now, now!